What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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