So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize