Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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