He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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