whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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