yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
