I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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