so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You need a sexual gate keeper
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
