i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
