dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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