Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
