NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
