I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Randomize
