I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize