SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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