epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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