God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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