whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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