seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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