new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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