ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
