the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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