i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
