you traded sex for a burrito?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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