Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.