absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
