As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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