Christians are straight up FREAKS
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
