I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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