I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
