Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
