and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
