i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize