She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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