her vagine was all disorganized.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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