So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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