brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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