I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
