You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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