alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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