3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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