Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize