R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
