You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
