you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
