Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
