After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
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And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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