Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
handjob tips. give me some.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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