five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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