it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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