im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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