It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The cops high fived after they tackled you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
