So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
