whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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