I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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