guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
