hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
