If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
