MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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