hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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