...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
